Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
