I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
