it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
