ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A bitchslap is in order.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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