I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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