You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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