He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just want to make out with him forever
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
