This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
