are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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