Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
