But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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