My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
