you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
