yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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