playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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