Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
