I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
