Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
