I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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