sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
