God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
