i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
