You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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