Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You're earring is so big in my mouth
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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