I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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