id be glad to
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
