She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
