Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
