just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
