I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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