Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
