Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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