That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Pants are for mortals
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
