on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
