I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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