I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
