I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
