he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize