yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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