i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
