How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
