You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
