A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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