wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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