I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
