Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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