she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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