apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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