someone threw a dead crab at me
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The power of my boobs compel you
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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