I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
In America we eat man semen.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
