their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
