why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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