today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
