I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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