You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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