I seem to have left my pride at pride
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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