Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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