: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
