When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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