..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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