WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
