Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
