Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
