She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
