do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
