I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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