I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize