I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
