I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
