Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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