Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I can't turn off my feet"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize