as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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